So let me introduce you to a small exercise that is intended to give you a more clear view on your obstacles. Do this exercise every time you feel there is something between you and your goals.. Write a list of the things you want to do or you want to reach... Here is an example of list: 1. Learn Spanish
2. Give up the cancer sticks ( smoking )
3. More romantic with my spouse Now it comes the not-so-easy part - being honest to yourself against the good image we all have about ourselves: Let's take the first point ( Assuming you are talking to yourself and about yourself ) 1.Learn Spanish
Q: Why do you I need to learn Spanish?
A: Because It will add value to me as an individual, increase my self esteem and offer me more choices in my career. Also because I developed some new friendships with some native Spanish speakers and I would like to be able to talk to them in Spanish. - Q: Where do I stand regarding the Spanish language?
A: I have some basic knowledge of Spanish, I can understand it over 70% but I can't speak it fluent. I bough some books but I somehow postpone the Day 1 of the learning process. Q: Which are the internal barriers in learning Spanish?
A: - lack of organizational skill
- lack of ambition is setting and respecting goal setting So, let's make it short, in one sentence... If I would organize myself better, set goals and respect the deadlines I will be able to increase my self esteem, make new friends and increase my career evolution potential. So, by finding " the barriers " you can allow yourself to evolve, both personal and professional. And the most important part is to take a decision right away. The decision is setting the date of your first Spanish lesson. 2.Give up the cancer sticks Q: Why do I smoke?
A: Is is a habit I started because there was nothing to do with my hands and because it made it more easy to socialize with others. Q: Why would I quit?
A: Because there is a risk I won't see my kids growing and because I see sadness in my spouse eyes every time I smoke and she sees me. Also because I promised her I will give up at a certain date and that date passed and I am still a smoker ( made me break up a promise to her ). Q: What stops me from quitting?
A: -lack of ambition
-maybe a sort of dependence
-my friends and colleagues know I am smoking and offer me 1 when I don't have mine -the denial of the fact I cannot give up anytime I want; the denial of the fact I am addicted Q: What can I do about it?
A: - Recognize I am addicted to nicotine. Yes I am addicted !!!
-Announce all my colleagues I quitted smoking ( not trying to quit - try is a bad word..About this in another post) Recognize I should look for some professional help, like some quitting pills for my body and develop a mindset about rejecting smoking. Get more documents on the smoking effects against the human body. - Writing down a statement of my reasons of quitting and what will happen to me if I start again, multiply it and read it everyday. When? I will start working at gathering info about the help I can get and in one week I will have the program written and kick it. 3. More romantic with my spouse Q: Why would I do it?
A: Because she is a special person, and I love her more everyday for a thousand reasons and because at the beginning of our relationship I was bringing her flowers & surprising her with different gifts, and now that we are married I don't do that anymore. Q: Why I don't do it?
A: Well, I assume she knows I love her and I somehow have a feeling that she is belonging to me and because I am working hard and make good money I feel somehow that compensates all the romantic gestures. Q: Advantages of being more romantic:
A: - strengthening my connection with her;
- making her feel loved more often
- making her smile more often
- loving her more ( I love her more every time she smiles ) Q: Goal setting:
A: I will bring her flowers at least 1 day per week
I will give her a nice and long massage 2 times a week.
I will take the trash out everyday and wash the dishes. ( Doesn't sound too romantic, but I don't think she enjoys doing that everyday ) Conclusion:
A.Identify "What do you want to get"
B.List the advantages of obtaining that "something", how would your life look after you already achieved what is now a goal.
C.Discover which are the weaknesses that are holding you back from reaching there and make a plan to get over them. The first goal is the hardest to deal with, after you will achieve the first one than the second one comes easier because you have a higher self esteem and you already have some experience dealing with the little guys inside your head that suggest you to give up your decision. After practicing this for a few months, the 8-th or the 9-th will be a piece of cake, will be just a natural process. I would like to hear about people following this guideline and noticed a better self in the mirror. ================================ |
