Hes popped the question and youre dying to tell someone. Without a second thought the two of you race like the wind to share the good news with your mum and dad.

Wait! Havent you read enough etiquette books to know that theres a right way and a wrong way to spread your fantastic news? And the way youre going to do it will bring you nothing but regrets.

Without any warning youre going to break into the living room and expect your parents to act as if theyve just won the Lotto? Dream on!

Its a cold Sunday evening, and your mum and dad are settled for the night. Snuggled into a flannelette dressing gown inherited from her grandmother, her feet lost in your fathers outsize slippers and heavy woolen socks that a lamb would be proud of, your mothers head is a pin cushion of pink and blue plastic curlers.

Beside her, your father is spread across the chair fast asleep. Head back, mouth wide open, his snores are successfully competing with the sound of the television which has been turned up to point 25.

Awakened by a kick on the shin, he exudes all the charm and dignity most people exhibit in that situation.

With your Mum, dad, were engaged, ringing in their ears, at that moment, believe it or not, they hate you and your partner with a passion. Why couldnt you have given them some warning?

Theyve seen enough TV to know exactly how theyre expected to react when their favourite daughter comes home with a ring on her finger. But theyve been caught napping in every sense of the word.

If this scene were being enacted on the screen there would be a bottle of champagne cooling in the refrigerator. Elegant gold-edged flutes would be sparkling in the cocktail cabinet, while mum and dad would be stunning in the fashionable gear provided for them by the wardrobe lady. There would be much laughter and exclamation, with all sorts of delightful sentiments pouring out of dads well-written script, with mum smiling a warm welcome to your fianc.

But as it is, even if they manage to recover from the disadvantageous position in which youve placed them, the best your parents can do is offer the two of you a cup of tea and a biscuit or two, and wish you both hundred thousand kilometers away.

Spare them the embarrassment and yourself the disappointment. On Sunday night come home alone. Give your parents a broad hint about what to expect tomorrow, and stock the fridge with all the necessary accessories in the meantime.

News like your engagement, deserves the spontaneity of thorough planning.

Vlady Peters

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant performing weddings, naming, renenewal of vows and commitment ceremonies both for Australian citizens and for overseas couples visiting friends and relatives in Australia.

She is the author of two traditionally published books, "The Complete Book of Australian Weddings" and "The Small Organisation Handbbook" and is in the process of releasing two ebooks dealing with weddings and honeymoons.

Her major interest is research into customs and traditions of weddings.

By going back to the roots of customs, she believes couples can more clearly differentiate between what is essential in a wedding ceremony, and what is merely a personal preference.

This allows them to choose a ceremony reflecting their own situation within the framework of legal requirements.

Vlady has a bachelor of Arts in English Literature and Government, and has studied the writing of novels and romances. She has written children picture books as well as novels.

She is a member of Queesland Civil Marriage Celebrants - the largest Civil Marriage Celebrants Association in Australia - as well as member of Celebrants' Training Association.

She is also a member of Australian Authors, as well as Romance Writers Association where for a number of years she was the Convenor of the prestigious Emma Darcy Award - Australia's leading Lady of Romance.