Some say that dating is almost extinct. For the older single, dating is desired but yet also viewed with a bit of skepticism. Will he show up? Will she expect me to pay for dinner? And then there is the stilted conversation that has its own shaky movements like an old automobile that's ready to expire.

Is there an easier way?

In my workshops, I have encouraged women to find their passion - not just as a possible way to meet new people and men in particular, but because it enriches their lives. Finding what fulfills us is empowering. One woman admitted that she liked to help others but was shy. I thought this was an interesting observation because she could turn it to her advantage in meeting new men. I suggested that as she was actually doing something within a group, it could possibly ease her discomfort in a new setting. She already had been doing that to an extent in a group she has been a member of for years. I encouraged her to revisit another group that caught her eye years ago but had discontinued attending. She seemed open to the idea.

Since dating can be intimidating to many, involvement in a group can be a much more comforting thought. I like groups that focus on a project such as Habitat for Humanity or a local soup kitchen. When we volunteer ourselves, we have a wonderful opportunity to meet other generous souls. These are the souls worth knowing.

Taking classes is another very good thing. Learning creates a lively environment which can open the door to interesting conversations. When our minds are stimulated, it leads to different perspectives. Good conversation can easily lead to continuing at a coffee house or restaurant. Those are the kind of interactions that are memorable and affective.

If you are in a place in life where you want to meet someone special, try different approaches but get involved with a group. It certainly beats sitting with someone who is telling you for the fifth time how his toilet problem stumped the plumber. If you are someone who is suddenly faced with the prospect of entering the dating world after years of absence, here are a few tips:

• Look at dating as a way to meet new people and learn new things. Our society is filled with information and dating provides one more way to acquire knowledge. Even if you're not attracted to the person sitting across from you, you may learn about a new restaurant, an interesting vacation destination, or how to invest in the stock market. Take these nuggets of information as gifts for entering the dating world.

• Be prepared to pay your own way. Some men will offer to pay for a dinner or coffee, but not all men do this. If you really want to make an impression on a man, offer to pick up the tab. He will be pleasantly surprised and even if he insists on paying, he will secretly be touched by your offer.

• Look your very best. This may go without saying but I'll say it anyway. The simple fact is this: men are attracted to attractive women. You don't have to look like a fashion model but at the same time, you want to present an attractive package. Splurge on a fantastic hairstyle, make-up, and choose an outfit that flatters you. Not only will this give you a boost of confidence, you'll send a message to those around you that you think of yourself as a luscious, desirable woman. Believe me, men notice.

Dating can be a fun, casual way to get to know people. Give others the benefit of the doubt, though. The first date is ripe for embarrassing moments. It's typical that both parties are nervous. Even if you didn't feel that elusive chemistry on the first date and the person asks you for a second date, go for it! Many couples have said that their first dates were disastrous but they gave the other person a second chance. Today, they're still happily involved.

So take a deep breath, and start discovering great places for those first dates!