Some songs for the festive season

The twelve days of Christmas
( or Dont keep buying me photographic stuff)

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Twelve filters filtering
Eleven tripods holding
Ten flashes flashing
Nine models posing
Eight grips a-gripping

Seven hoods a-shielding
Six weddings booking
Five D-SLRs
Four camera bags
Three photo mags
Two shutter lags
And a winner in every photo comp

Jingle Bells
( or I dont want to be doing this)

Dashing through the snow
Along a muddy track
Oer the fields I go
Camera on my back

Rain and cold and ice
Will never stop desire
My friends thats very nice
- Are sitting by the fire

Oh, snap, snap, sneeze
Snap, snap, sneeze
Coughing all the way
Oh what fun that I could have
If I was snug like they

Twas the night before Christmas
( or If anything can go wrong, it will)

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the place
A photographer wandered
To catch Santas face

Hed set up his tripod
And cocked up his shutter
When he heard in the chimney
A cough and a splutter

He steadied his camera
And charged up his gun
For the best of all candids
In life he had done

With a soot cloud of blackness
Down Santa he came
The photographer pounced
A great image his game

But the lens he discovered,
As he saw Santas foot,
Had poor optic properties
- it was covered in soot